Road to Forever Read online

  “If he makes it to the NFL, he won’t need to be a vet,” I snapped.

  Mom burst into tears and shook her head. “Okay, first, you’re not going to die, and I swear to God, if you say that in front of your dad, I will slap you! Second, I think you’re overestimating Maverick’s ability to overcome a broken heart. Third, if you say you’re going to die one more time, I’m going to go postal on your ass.”

  I sighed and pulled her in for a hug. “I’m sorry.”

  She held me tight. “You’re forgiven.”

  “I have to do this, Mom.”

  “What about Poppy?” Kayla challenged.

  Poppy was my closest friend next to Maverick. She was also our neighbor, and her dad was a Dog, so that could pose a problem. “She and Maverick don’t talk, so it’s not like he’ll find out from her, and as long as Dad doesn’t say anything to Hatch and you don’t say anything to Maisie, I think we can keep the secret. Poppy won’t rat me out, Mom.”

  Mom let out a resigned sigh. “Honey, we’ll support you in whatever you need. But I’m going on record to say I don’t think this is a good idea.”

  “Me too,” Kayla said.

  “Noted.” I brushed away my own tears and nodded. “But I have to protect him. I love him too much to let him throw everything away.”

  Mom raised her hands in surrender, and then she and Kayla left me alone. I mapped out my plan for Operation Save Maverick’s Future, and after calming myself and putting on a little makeup, I powered up Skype and made a call.

  * * *

  Maverick

  I had just stepped out of the shower when the Skype call sounded. I grinned. God, I missed my girl. I sat in front of my laptop and answered. “Hey, beautiful.”

  “Hey.”

  I frowned. Lily didn’t look happy. “What’s wrong?”

  “I have something to tell you and... well, I...”

  “Just tell me, baby.”

  “I’ve kind of met someone,” Lily said.

  “Yeah? Made a new friend?”

  She shook her head. “No. I’ve met a guy. Someone I’m really attracted to. He asked me out, and I kind of want to go, but I didn’t want to cheat, so I...”

  My heart raced. “You want my fucking permission to go out with another guy?”

  “Well, no. I’m thinking that if I’m feeling this way about someone else, you and I should probably break up.”

  “Who the fuck is he?”

  “You don’t know him.”

  “What’s his fucking name, Lil?”

  “Brad,” she whispered. “He just transferred into my school, and we’ve been talking.”

  I dragged my hands down my face. She was messing with me. I forced a laugh. “Nice one, Lil. Stop messing around.”

  “Maverick, I’m really sorry. Seriously. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I really hope you’ll understand.” She wiped tears away from her cheeks. “I need to go help Mom with dinner. Please don’t hate me,” she begged and hung up.

  I sat staring at my screen for several minutes, my stomach churning, and my heart shattering. I couldn’t wrap my brain around any of it. We had plans. There was no way in hell some asshat named Brad was gonna mess up those plans. I grabbed my phone and called the only person I knew I could talk to about it.

  “Hey, buddy,” my dad said after one ring.

  “Hey, Dad.”

  Carter ‘Ace’ Quinn wasn’t my biological father. Ace and Hawk were officers in the Dogs of Fire MC, and Ace had adopted me when he’d married my mom, Cassidy.

  “You doin’ okay?”

  “Lily just dumped me.”

  “What the fuck?” my dad retorted. “Hold on. Gonna go somewhere away from the kids.”

  I had a younger brother, Liam, and younger sister, Tillie. Liam was almost ten, and Tillie was almost eight.

  “Okay, tell me everything.”

  I filled my father in on the conversation and tried my best to keep it together.

  “I’ll talk to Hawk,” my dad said.

  “Dad, I’m not some twelve-year-old girl who needs my daddy to fix this.”

  My dad sighed. “Still your dad, bud. Kinda feel the need to.”

  “I know, but I’m going to let this ride out for a week or two. Lily’s smart. She’s probably just missing me and having a moment of insanity. Let her go out with this Brad pussy. She’ll figure out who the real man is and come crawling back.”

  “I’ll talk to your mom. See if she can find out what’s going on.”

  “Do not get Mom involved,” I insisted. “Not yet, anyway.”

  My dad chuckled. “Okay, bud. Got your back.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  We chatted a bit about football and classes and then hung up. I felt better and was ready to wait out Lily and whatever emotional crisis she was dealing with... well, I was ready for about a day. But when she changed her social media status and started posting pics of her kissing some asshole who wasn’t me, I was no longer Zen.

  I was enraged. I forced aside my pain and anguish and focused on the pure, unadulterated hatred I felt, which served me well on the field. Not so much in my interpersonal relationships, but by the time I was due to return home for Thanksgiving, I didn’t really give a fuck about anyone, or anything, anymore.

  Lily

  I LEANED OVER the bucket and puked for the umpteenth time, groaning at the pain in my stomach as I sat back in the hospital bed. I was on day three of my five-day chemo regimen, and it sucked. Dad was at Church; I didn’t know how he was keeping all of this from his “brothers,” but he’d made me a promise not to breathe a word. And when Dad made a promise, he kept it.

  I’d had no contact with Maverick over the past few weeks. I’d roped Brad (who was very, very gay) into posing as my boyfriend for social media purposes because I knew Maverick would see the pics and rage. I also knew, because of said rage, he wouldn’t delve into it too much further because he didn’t really know anyone at my school. Maverick didn’t text me, and I didn’t text him, so Liverick was officially over.

  His mom, Cassidy, was a problem, however. Admittedly, I didn’t plan that part out well. Cassidy was my dance instructor and, although the ballet session hadn’t started yet, she still gave me private lessons. I’d had to “break up” with her as well, and that was almost as hard as breaking up with Maverick. She’d been sweet, and I knew she wanted to know why—the real reason—but she didn’t press, and I loved her more for it.

  Poppy was a trooper, as I knew she would be. She didn’t talk about it with any of our other friends at the club; she just played dumb. She wasn’t a liar, so she just directed people to ask me if they wanted to know anything. I, on the other hand, just stayed away.

  Mom settled a cool washcloth on my forehead and handed me a clean vomit bag.

  “Thanks,” I whispered.

  “I’m going to get you some stronger nausea stuff. I’ll be right back.” She left the room, returning quickly with Martha, my day nurse, who plunged a needle into my IV. My stomach calmed, and I took a ragged breath.

  “Better?” Martha asked.

  “Yes. Thanks,” I said.

  “Good. Don’t be a hero, honey, okay? You need more, you let me know.” Martha patted my arm. “I’ll get you some Sprite.”

  I nodded and closed my eyes. I couldn’t help myself from thinking back to Thanksgiving. Maverick didn’t come home, and I’d been both sad and relieved. His parents said he’d had a big game, so they went to him, but I knew his schedule, and knew that wasn’t true. That was okay, though, since it meant I didn’t have to pretend to be happy and healthy, but at the same time, I ached to see him. I wanted to make sure he was okay.

  We’d spent the holiday with Mom’s parents, and we made the choice not to tell the family until after the holiday was over. I was glad because Thanksgiving was always so fun with all the cousins, and I really didn’t want it ruined. I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through Christmas, but for now, at least, I had one happy holi
day to help sustain me for a few weeks.

  “How’s my girl?”

  I opened my eyes to see my grandma, and I gave her a tired smile. “I’m good, Grams.”

  “How’s my other one?” She hugged my mom.

  “I’m okay, Mom.”

  Grandma leaned over and kissed my cheek. “Only you could go through chemo and still look like a supermodel.”

  I giggled. “Thanks, Grams.”

  That was my grandma to a T. Always positive. She looked like a supermodel herself. She was in her sixties and looked more Christie Brinkley than typical grandma. Granddad called her his G.I.L.F. (Grandma I’d like to... well, you get the picture). It was both sweet and gross at the same time.

  “Boys okay?” Mom asked.

  Hunter and Case were with Granddad for the day.

  “All good, honey. Your dad took them fishing after school.” Grandma sat on the chair beside Mom’s and set her purse on the counter. “They’ll be exhausted by the time he drops them home.”

  “Perfect.”

  “How’s Hawk holding up?” Grandma asked.

  “He’s doing okay,” Mom lied.

  “No, he’s not,” I countered, keeping my eyes closed. The light hurt, and I was tired, but I couldn’t quite sleep yet.

  “No, he’s not,” Mom agreed. “He wasn’t going to go to Church tonight, but he’s got to keep up appearances for the moment, so he’ll be here in a few hours.”

  “All this deception over a boy,” Grandma mused.

  “Grams, he’s not just any boy.” I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice, but I didn’t think I succeeded.

  “I get it, honey,” she said, but I wasn’t sure she really did.

  “You should try and rest, Lil,” Mom said. “Grams and I’ll just hang out and be quiet while you do.”

  I felt like she was saying that as more of a warning to my grandmother than anything, but I appreciated it just the same. Now that the nausea had subsided, I was able to fall into a dream-filled sleep.

  * * *

  Twelve years ago...

  “Ow!” I cried out. Ethan Walker was squeezing my arm really hard. He kept trying to kiss me, but I didn’t want him to... He was gross. I was in kindergarten, and Maverick and I were at the same after-school program, but we hadn’t been here long. So far, I didn’t really like it very much, but at least, Maverick was with me. I had just turned five, and he said he was there to protect me.

  “Let go of her!” Maverick demanded and rushed up to him.

  Ethan squeezed harder.

  “Stop!” I screamed. My arm burned.

  Maverick hit him, but Ethan wouldn’t let go. Even though Ethan had a bloody nose, he just held me tighter.

  “Maverick,” I begged with a whimper.

  Maverick wrapped his arm around Ethan’s throat and held him until Ethan let go of my arm. I wiped the tears out of my eyes and watched as Maverick dropped Ethan on the floor. He was asleep.

  Maverick pulled me in for a hug. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m okay, Mav,” I whispered.

  Ethan groaned and slowly sat up.

  “What’s going on?” Ms. Smith demanded. “Maverick! What did you do?”

  “He was hurting Lily,” Maverick said with a scowl. “He wouldn’t let her go.”

  “All of you, come with me.”

  After Ms. Smith had made sure Ethan was okay, she led all three of us down to the director’s office where they promptly called our parents.

  “You go sit over there.” Maverick shoved Ethan into the chair by the window then came and sat next to me, keeping himself between Ethan and me.

  Our parents arrived, and my dad looked really mad. Madder than I’d ever seen him. The lady who ran the daycare left Maverick and me with Ethan while she took our parents into her office.

  “What the hell happened to your face?” an angry man’s voice growled

  I peered around Maverick to see Ethan staring up at a big old fat guy. The fat guy scowled at Maverick. “Did you do this?”

  I squeezed my eyes shut because the man looked like he was going to hit Maverick, but then I heard a grunt, and I opened my eyes to see the man on the floor. Maverick was standing in front of me, and my dad was yanking Ethan away.

  Maverick faced me and took my hand. “No one will touch you again, Lil.”

  Mom and Cassidy took us out to the car, but before I got in, Maverick laid his hands on my upper arms and asked, “Hey, you okay?”

  “I’m okay, Mav.” I smiled at him because I thought he was the biggest hero on the planet, and I was pretty sure I was in love with him. “Thanks for helping me.”

  He kissed my forehead and gave me a hug and then Mom drove me home. I remembered thinking that I’d never love anyone more than Maverick.

  * * *

  Maverick

  I awoke with a start, the memories from my dream flooding my heart. Sitting up and climbing off my bed, I walked to my window. I was home for the Christmas holiday, but I wasn’t feeling overly festive. My eyes drifted to Lily’s window, which was directly across from mine, and I took a deep breath. Goddammit, I missed her... ached for her.

  Pressing my palm against my chest, against the tattoo of her name over my heart, I sighed. Something was off. After one week of bombarding social media with photos of her new crush, Lily had gone silent. Ghost town silent.

  She’d also dropped my mother’s dance class. Lily loved to dance—breathed it—so it just didn’t sit right that she’d dumped me and my mom within a few days of each other.

  What the hell is going on, baby doll?

  I saw her drapes flutter and hope flared, but only for a second. I didn’t know if I’d be able to handle much more of this. Pulling on a pair of running shorts, I headed downstairs and yanked open the fridge.

  “Can’t sleep?”

  “Shit!” I slammed the fridge and spun to face my father who was sitting at the kitchen table swigging a beer. “You scared the crap out of me.”

  My dad chuckled. “Sorry. Just waitin’ on your mom.”

  “She’s not home yet?” I glanced at the clock over the microwave; it read two twelve a.m. “Why aren’t you out dragging her home?”

  “I know where she is, bud.” He looked at his phone and shrugged. “She’s at Maisie’s. Girls’ night in.”

  I smiled. “So she’s got about thirteen minutes before you head across the street to get her.”

  “Somethin’ like that.” Dad swigged his beer again. “What’s up?”

  I grabbed a root beer and sat at the table. “Just can’t figure this thing out with Lily.”

  “Yeah?”

  I nodded. “Something’s not right. I can’t put my finger on it... Shit, I don’t know. Maybe I’m talkin’ outta my ass.”

  “I get it,” my dad said. “Your mom’s not feelin’ it either.”

  “Really?”

  My dad nodded. “She could tell Lily wasn’t giving her the whole story when they talked. Especially since it came so soon after she was granted that scholarship money for dance.”

  Lily had performed in the showcase that had scared the shit out of her, but she’d been perfect (no surprise there) and was awarded the five-thousand-dollar scholarship.

  “Have you asked Hawk?” I asked then took a sip of soda.

  “Nope.”

  “Why not?”

  “‘Cause if he wants to share, he’ll share.”

  I frowned. “Not really good enough.”

  “But all you’re gonna get for now, bud.”

  I took another angry sip of my soda. I hated this part of the Club. Unless you were “in,” you had no access to anything to do with it. Even though my father was an officer in the Club, I knew almost nothing about the day-to-day goings-on. I wasn’t interested in “patching in,” therefore, I was kept in the dark. It was frustrating as hell at times.

  The beep of the house alarm sounded, and my dad rose to his feet and headed toward the front door. I heard my mother giggl
e and a low voice that wasn’t my father’s (obviously a recruit walking my mom home), then the front door clicked, and the alarm was reset.

  “Mav?” My mom walked into the kitchen and leaned down to kiss my cheek. I could smell something fruity on her breath, and I figured she’d imbibed. “Hey honey, why are you up?”

  I smiled. “Just can’t sleep.”

  She cupped my chin. “Are you sad about Lily?”

  My mom knew me better than anyone did, but I didn’t want to talk to her about it when she was obviously tipsy. “I’m good, Mom.”

  She sighed. “We’ll figure it out.”

  “But we won’t tonight,” my dad piped in, wrapping an arm around her and kissing her neck. “Tonight, I’m taking you to bed.”

  I made puking sounds. “Don’t need to know.”

  My mom giggled. “‘Night, honey.”

  “Night, Mom. Night, Dad.”

  My dad gave me a nod. “Night, bud. See you in the mornin’.”

  I shook my head when my dad lifted my mom off her feet and carried her toward the stairs. She was still laughing, and I wanted that. I wanted what they had, but without Lily, it would never happen. I couldn’t see myself finding anyone I’d ever love more. She was it for me, and my integrity prevented me from getting involved with anyone who didn’t live up to her. It wouldn’t be fair.

  Since I wasn’t going to solve anything at almost three in the morning, I dumped the rest of my root beer, recycled the can, and dragged myself back up to my room. Unable to help myself, I stared at Lily’s window for probably a little too long before falling into bed.

  Sleep didn’t come quickly, which meant I swam in my thoughts, and I concluded that I was going to get some answers while I was on vacation. Whether those answers came from Lily or from someone else, I didn’t much care anymore, but I was going to get them.

  Lily

  I STEPPED INTO the shower and stood there for what seemed like forever. I was in the thick of chemo, we barely had a week until Christmas, and Maverick was home. I hadn’t seen him yet... no, let me rephrase. Our bedroom windows looked in on each other’s rooms, so technically, I had seen him because I’d secretly spied on him. Several times. The latest time, I’d kept all the lights off in my room, made sure the shades were drawn, and took Hunter’s old kid binoculars from one of his “spy” playsets and peeked into Maverick’s room.